There are things about being a parent that nothing can prepare you for. I mean, in the months preceding Ava's birth, we were inundated with advice. And a lot of it was useful. Like how one of my besties recommended Aquaphor for diaper rash issues. Best advice ever. And how someone said to take pictures of us holding the baby, not just of the baby. Awesome.
Nobody warned me about how time would slip away as it does. Ava and I get home around 6:15 and before I know it it's midnight and time to go to bed and hope that she sleeps through the night (she still does most nights) so that Rob and I can get 6 good hours of sleep before we start all over again.
Nobody warned me about how her milestones would affect me. One day a couple of months ago, it's like she just woke up and became this little person. She's aware of us, of herself, of her hands, of her feet, of the dog, of the world. Last weekend we were at the cabin (yeah, I know, pics and video will be up at some point) and Grams reached for her and she gave this big smile and opened her arms so wide and was so happy to be picked up. It was the first time she had done this, and while she'll do it a thousand times or more in her life, this felt so important. She didn't passively get passed around. She wanted to be where she was going.
Nobody warned me about how my heart would break when learning about a child drowning (or being found IN A FREAKING DUMPSTER OMG WORST STORY EVER) on the news. I get this cold, tangibly sharp fear that just courses through me for a second like a knife when I think of anything happening to Ava or any of my friends' kids or just about any kid at all.
Nobody warned me about how I would feel when learning about a friend's miscarriage. Oh, this was a bad week for that. I'm part of an online community, and this week, two of the ladies who I've gotten to know (there are probably a hundred total) lost their babies. One was 20 weeks along and it's not the first time it has happened to her and hearing that awful news was almost more than I could bear. If you have a minute, say a prayer for Alma and sweet baby Brooke.
Must. Lighten. Up.
Nobody warned me about how hard it would be to pull out the little clothes that once seemed so big on our little girl that are now too small for her and put them in storage to make room for the next size up. Ava is now 17-1/2 pounds, and in the 6-9 month sizes. For such a little punkin, she's awfully big :). Switching out the clothes forces us to see just how much she's grown--she's gained 10 pounds! Such a big girl :).
Nobody warned me about what it would be like to see my father holding my daughter and pointing out the things that he thinks are important for her to see. It's so funny to see him shift into Gramps mode.
I'm realizing that we all waited such a long time for Ava to join us, like we were in a holding pattern until she got here. We were just killing time, and now we're scrambling to slow it down.
8 comments:
I felt the exact same way this morning when I woke Jackson up and noticed how long he is in proportion to his crib. His big boy bed is on order and, frankly, it makes me kind of sad that time is flying and he is growing up.
Oh great, now I'm crying at work.
Nice.
Welcome to the club. This is what we were talking about when we all saod :just you wait". And the crazy thing is...as much as you'd kill to keep them little, in so many ways bigger is even better! (Well-once you get past that mine, no, screaming at the top of their lungs in public thing anyway).
I can completely relate to all you have written & so well convey. I understand it all, having been there with Anna, and know how Ava has enhanced your life and evolved you into a wonderful mother. She is a true source of all that is right with the world. You have to savor every precious moment because it does fly by faster than you can ever imagine. She is a true blessing and an angel on earth.
Great post- you're right- nothing can prepare you for all the stuff that goes along with parenthood. The good things or the bad things. Probably good- if we understood how truly huge it was before having kids, I'm not sure anyone would have the courage to do it.
Best post ever. Kristie I feel exactly the same way. Like we were just killing time until Charlotte got here. :)
I could not agree more. I often wonder what life was like before and I just can't picture it. It's nothing like it is now and I wouldn't change a thing!
Hugs. That's all. Just hugs.
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