Six Flags Over Vegas

So, recently, Rob and I were pondering how best to utilize our rather impressive, if small, back yard now that we have a child. Back yards exist for two reasons: Dogs and kids. Sadly, we said good-bye to Gracie this past winter. She was old and it was time and we miss her terribly.

However, now we have a back yard that is entirely without doggie bombs. Whatever shall we do with that awesome space? Why, I think we'll establish ourselves as.... THE COOLEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD.

Behold:



Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Our kid has her very own roller coaster.

We have big plans for converting it into a water park during the upcoming Hotter-Than-The-Surface-Of-The-Sun months. This, combined with her Sand and Water Table...


...make her the envy of the neighborhood, and doubtless the hottest playdate location in town.

Spoiled? Nah.

Four years ago...

... we threw a party. We invited 150 of our closest friends and family, and it was the most wonderful day that we could have imagined.

There was cake...

That's three tiers of buttercream-frosted strawberry cheesecake, people. We don't mess around when it comes to cake.

There were moments when we stopped what we were doing so that we could smile at the camera...
..and moments where nothing else mattered. Not even the cake.

There were so many moments when everybody just laughed.


May 20, 2006, was a day that was so perfect, that it just didn't seem real.


I didn't realize that it would only get better.

For the record:

Our little parrot's first curse word has happened. The lesson we take from this day is that we do not say out loud what it is we find in a diaper.

Duly noted.

PS, it was Rob.

The Lady Does Not Wish To Be Bothered.

Today at daycare, Ava bit another child.

OMG.

The backstory is funny, though. The Assistant Director and her teacher both could barely contain their laughter when they told me. She was provoked, make no mistake.

The alleged victim, whose name has been withheld from me, as Ava's name has been withheld from the alleged victim's parents, allegedly was being kind of clingy (already, at this point in the story, my suspicions about who the alleged victim allegedly is are in place). Said alleged victim was allegedly all up in Ava's business, allegedly hanging on to her shirt, allegedly touching her face (really, who doesn't hate that?), allegedly ignoring the pleas, nay, insistent demands, of the suspect to BACK THE HELL OFF. The suspect made no secret of her displeasure at being jostled in such a manner. She allegedly hollered. She allegedly stomped her feet. She allegedly made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT SHE WAS NOT AMUSED BY ANY OF THESE TOUCHY-FEELY SHENANIGANS.

And yet, the alleged victim persisted.

Ava allegedly bit the alleged victim on the alleged pinky finger. No skin was broken. The whole alleged incident allegedly lasted not even a minute.

As the alleged victim was extricated from the suspect, the suspect's only reaction was indignation. It was obvious, apparently, that she didn't WANT to bite the alleged victim. She TRIED to warn the victim. As the victim's injured pinky was treated with an icy boo-boo buddy, the suspect looked with bewilderment at the adult witnesses in attendance, frustrated by her lack of words.

One can only imagine what those words might have been.

All kidding aside, my immediate concern was "oh dear, my child is now that kid." The AD assured me that in many circumstances, yes, a deliberate chomping would be cause for alarm. But this? The two ladies looked at each other, looked at Ava, and looked at me. They agreed, "well, she DID try to warn her."

This is the first week in which we've gotten two incident reports to sign. The first one was on Monday, where she hit herself in the head as she "was exploring the sensory bottles". In layman's terms, she was playing with a plastic bottle that had been filled with water and sealed, and she bonked herself on the head probably 3 times before she got pissed off at the bottle. Her reaction when they were checking her for injury? Inconvenience. That's what they told me: "Ava just seemed to be inconvenienced by our concern."

Oh goody. Where does a 16-month-old child learn inconvenience and indignation?

Certainly, she didn't get it from me...