OK OK OK This is why we needed a video camera.

For exciting clips like this one. On the cuteness scale, this rates about a bazillion plus one.




That's how she sleeps. She's very restless, and it took us quite a while to get used to it. The first couple of weeks, we jumped at every chirp, every time she opened her eyes, every motion. Now? We put her down, turn on the monitor (or turn off the light) and when we hear her we give it at least a 10-count before we do anything. If we jump too soon, we wake her up unnecessarily and then we have to get her back to sleep. But if we just hang out for a bit, she often works herself out and stays asleep.

Go ahead. Watch it again. If you listen closely, you can hear a little fart.

Ava is changing every day. This morning, she gave me this big gummy smile when she saw me, and that's just about the best thing ever. Her world is coming into focus a little bit at a time. All of the experts say that you should read to your baby every day, and I love that because I'm a reader and I'd love it if she became one too. We read a few of the baby books that we have, and she spent most of the time watching me and dozing off. So I thought I'd steer away from those until she's more interested in the pictures. So we're reading the Little House books. We just finished the first one


and we started the next one



this morning. I'm a dork and I read them all periodically because I love them so much. Yeah. I own it. Someday maybe Ava will read them back to me :).

So yesterday I went into work to introduce Ava to the people who were with me the most during the past few months. They deserved a special trip and fanfare because, let's face it, a lot of my pregnancy was spent with me being some degree of crazy. It got where I wasn't sure if my stress was from the changes in my job description after my promotion (shameless plug, there) or because my hormones rose and fell like the tides during a full moon. It was great to see everyone and catch up. And while I'm sure they were glad when I finally started maternity leave and took the crazy show out of the office, my assistant (who kicks ass and has really stepped up and gone above and beyond her original role...) will be relieved when I come back. There have been some changes in how stuff gets done, so she'll be training me as well. Remind me to get something nice for when I go back to work. She's earned it.

Camcorder Part 2

OK so it takes a little while to load, but how about that picture!

So We Got A Camcorder.

This is mainly just a test to see if it works. Behold:





More interesting stuff to come, I'm sure.

If you're curious, this was filmed using a Flip Video Mino HD Camera, which is a high definition video camera for people who don't know much about that sort of thing. Very cool. Check it out here.

It's been one month (and one day...)

Here is what is different:

1. Everything

It's shocking to realize that everything that happens, every thought in my head, every plan I make goes through an Ava filter. She casts a shadow over everything. My time continuum is now divided differently than before--it used to be based on whether something happened before or after my mom died. That was the context into which all events fell, and looking back, how awful is that? Now, everything, including that awful event, has fallen into a new category: was it before or after January 12, 2009?

I'll tell you one thing--if it was before that date, I probably did it faster and with fewer props.

I have about five and a half weeks until I go back to work, and that is another red letter date right there. I'm ready, in the sense that I'm looking forward to re-entering the world. As much as I have fantasized about not working, it's become very clear that I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. Nope. The same amount of focus that I put into all of the components of my job description is now concentrated into the 2 or 3 things I seem to be doing all day every day at home. It's exhausting. I miss the variety of my job and the people I see every day. I do have a pretty cool job with interesting people coming in and out of my office throughout the day. It requires me to think on my feet and shift gears quickly, and I like that.

But I'm so not ready to go back to work in so many ways that have nothing to do with me. Ava will be 10 weeks old on March 23. Yikes! Little! The thought of taking her to the day care and, oh my god, LEAVING HER THERE scares me to death. I'm pretty sure that we won't get into our first choice facility, and that's OK. We're aiming for #2, and I've spoken with the director who is also in the newborn room. They have a transition program that is mainly for parents--it's supposed to help us get used to leaving the child with them. I'm hoping that it includes a sedative and a pitcher of martinis as well, because I am going to be a hot mess. Ten. Weeks. Old. OMG. Rob is going to take time off and we're going to do the day care transition thing together.

We try not to think about March 23 too much.

Some quick Ava stats...

• 8 pounds, 14 ounces; 20-3/4 inches long
• 100 diapers in 7 days
• 3-4 hours of sleep at a time, interrupted by a 4-ounce bottle and an hour or so of awake time
• 3 costume changes a day, due to the occasional spit-up issue
• Favorite time of day is still 1-4AM, just like when I was pregnant.
  

At 4 weeks, she's starting to become more of a person and less of a larvae. She's awake more, and is pretty content (we're counting our lucky stars on that one...) unless she's hungry or in need of a new diaper. She still goes into Hulk Baby mode if we take too long with the bottle, but she calms down quickly, and we're thankful for that. I'm not cocky enough to think it's because of our amazing instinctive parenting skills--she's an easy baby so far. My dad thinks she's just saving it up for her adolescence, like I did. We'll see.

And now, a musical interlude.

The "4AM Feeding The Baby With Nothing On TV But News and Informercials" Song

Slow down, you drink too fast
You've got to make the bottle last
Just sucking down the Enfamil
Looking around and feelin' burpyyyyyyyy

ShamWOW fella, you're a moron
It's just a rag, it's not freaking cold fusion you imbecile
Why are you on every channel?
You make me want to throw a hammer at the TV
Ba da da da da da da
Feelin' crabbyyyyyyyyy

Why is there a traffic report right now?
It's 4:27 and who goes to work at 4:27?!
Ava's finished and sound asleep
I'm wide awake and feelin' like a zombieeeeeeeeee
Ba da da da da da da
Like a zombieeeeeeeeeeee

My apologies to Simon and Garfunkel.

There's a football game today? Really?

I've kind of lost touch with the outside world. It hasn't been hard to do. Getting out of the house has become an event of such epic proportions that it just doesn't happen very often. Ava's been congested all week but is much better after regular saline/blue sucky thing treatments. It appears that she inherited my questionable sinuses, and at some point she'll doubtless become well acquainted with my ENT (Dr. Boyers, best in town). Incidentally, I saw him on Friday because of an ill-timed sinus infection that, thankfully, was caught and dealt with before it got really out of hand. Seriously, whose idea was it to see if me being sick with a newborn was a good idea?! The universe was mocking me, I'm sure.

Today's big story: Ava decided that she didn't hate the swing anymore!


We tried it a couple of weeks ago out of desperation one fussy night, and we discovered than when she's really pissed off, she turns into what we call "Hulk Baby", and since we don't like her when she's angry we gave the swing a rest. We tried it again today on a whim.

Oh, and here's ten minutes later...


She's pondering Very Important Things right there.

Rob and I have achieved a kind of rhythm as far as Ava's eating and sleeping go. It's not so much of a schedule (yet--we hear good things about schedules and hope to achieve one at some later date). We do zone coverage at night as opposed to man-to-man. The first zone is 8:00 PM until about 1:30. Whoever got the best sleep the previous night covers this zone, allowing the other to crash immediately after dinner and get a good 5 solid hours of sleep. At 1:30ish, we switch. It seems to be working.

That's really all that's happening right now. The stuff that excites us doesn't seem very exciting when I write it out. It's hard to put into words the dozen small victories that we claim every day (She's a side sleeper! Put her on her side and she'll stay asleep! Hooray!), and the camera never quite captures how she makes a hundred faces as she's falling asleep and makes little squeaks and chirps all the while. I don't know (and I don't particularly care...) if all other newborns do this exact same thing and we just have tunnel vision about how fabulous and interesting she is. There will come a time when I will re-enter the world (March 23 when I go back to work, to be precise) and I'll become aware of how other things are going on. For now, she's the best show in town.