Angels On Earth And Up Above

There are things about being a parent that nothing can prepare you for. I mean, in the months preceding Ava's birth, we were inundated with advice. And a lot of it was useful. Like how one of my besties recommended Aquaphor for diaper rash issues. Best advice ever. And how someone said to take pictures of us holding the baby, not just of the baby. Awesome.

Nobody warned me about how time would slip away as it does. Ava and I get home around 6:15 and before I know it it's midnight and time to go to bed and hope that she sleeps through the night (she still does most nights) so that Rob and I can get 6 good hours of sleep before we start all over again.

Nobody warned me about how her milestones would affect me. One day a couple of months ago, it's like she just woke up and became this little person. She's aware of us, of herself, of her hands, of her feet, of the dog, of the world. Last weekend we were at the cabin (yeah, I know, pics and video will be up at some point) and Grams reached for her and she gave this big smile and opened her arms so wide and was so happy to be picked up. It was the first time she had done this, and while she'll do it a thousand times or more in her life, this felt so important. She didn't passively get passed around. She wanted to be where she was going.

Nobody warned me about how my heart would break when learning about a child drowning (or being found IN A FREAKING DUMPSTER OMG WORST STORY EVER) on the news. I get this cold, tangibly sharp fear that just courses through me for a second like a knife when I think of anything happening to Ava or any of my friends' kids or just about any kid at all.

Nobody warned me about how I would feel when learning about a friend's miscarriage. Oh, this was a bad week for that. I'm part of an online community, and this week, two of the ladies who I've gotten to know (there are probably a hundred total) lost their babies. One was 20 weeks along and it's not the first time it has happened to her and hearing that awful news was almost more than I could bear. If you have a minute, say a prayer for Alma and sweet baby Brooke.

Must. Lighten. Up.

Nobody warned me about how hard it would be to pull out the little clothes that once seemed so big on our little girl that are now too small for her and put them in storage to make room for the next size up. Ava is now 17-1/2 pounds, and in the 6-9 month sizes. For such a little punkin, she's awfully big :). Switching out the clothes forces us to see just how much she's grown--she's gained 10 pounds! Such a big girl :).

Nobody warned me about what it would be like to see my father holding my daughter and pointing out the things that he thinks are important for her to see. It's so funny to see him shift into Gramps mode.

I'm realizing that we all waited such a long time for Ava to join us, like we were in a holding pattern until she got here. We were just killing time, and now we're scrambling to slow it down.

Oh no! It's March!

I go back to work 3 weeks from today. Here are my current anxieties on this topic:

1. Ava. Daycare. Nuff said.
2. Dragging myself out of bed at 6AM, getting myself ready, getting Ava ready (with lots of help from Rob) and getting through the day without falling asleep at my desk. That's actually 4 anxieties in one. Awesome.
3. Remembering how to do my job.
4. I'm too small for maternity clothes (except for the low-rise early pregnancy pants with the handy waistband and generous cut through the butt...) and too big for regular clothes, and am unsure of how much to invest in this transitional non-size that I am right now.
5. Getting anything done around the house.
   

That's all I can think of right now, and quite frankly I'm relieved because I figured there would be more of them. So, how are we going to deal with these concerns? Let's address them in order.

1. We are waitlisted at the first-choice daycare, so we're focusing on choice #2, which is actually a very very close second. I'll be meeting with them this week or next to have our "transition meeting". This is where they meet with me to give me a list of what to bring for Ava (diapers, meds, clothes, food, life-size replicas of me and Rob...) and probably to ascertain just how crazy I am. I'll be on my best behavior so as to fool them completely.
2. This week begins a regular schedule for me. I'll be getting up at 6:30 and getting dressed and getting Ava ready. Naturally, as soon as Rob heads out the door I'll go back to bed. Baby steps.
3. Oh, I'm sure it will come back to me. Piece of cake. There are actually a few things that we've been meaning to change up a bit, so this might be a good time to take a step back and rethink how we do them. The idea of a blank slate is appealing.
4. Ugh. Before our wedding, I was on Weight Watchers and I lost almost 50 pounds. Yeah. So I'm back on that wagon. I had to wait 6 weeks after Ava was born to start any diet or exercise program, and we're at week 7 now. It's time. So I'm keeping track of what I eat, and having more meals at home makes this easier. Exercise is tricky because I have no endurance. None. After a day of not leaving the house I'm exhausted. If I run 2 errands I need the following day to recover. I'm starting small. We have a Wii Fit, and I try to ignore how it made my little avatar girl a Fattie. I've dusted off the elliptical trainer that lives behind our sofa. And taking Ava for walks is nice for both of us. This anxiety goes beyond getting back into my clothes. Suddenly I have to be a Good Example for someone, and she is going to learn how to eat and take care of herself by watching us. Besides, I'm already going to be the Old Mom. I don't want to also be the Fat Mom.
5. There has been an alarming amount of time available to get stuff done around the house, and we have been busy. The garage has shelving on 2 walls now. The pantry is cleaned out and organized. The kitchen cupboards have stuff in them that we use and not so much stuff that we don't. Closets and drawers are next. By the time I go back to work, this place will be a well-oiled machine, and the big issue will be maintaining it. We don't have a lot of space, so while it piles up quickly it also cleans up quickly. I like to do a little bit every day--one load of laundry, 10 minutes of cleaning something, stuff like that. We should be able to keep that going.

Ava is wonderful. Her world gets bigger every day. Yesterday, she noticed her hands. They didn't hold her attention for very long, but I bet they will soon. She's out of newborn sizes and into the 0-3 month clothes, which means that the newborn stuff is now in a box in the garage. We have no comment as to whether those will be used again at any time in the future.

We'll have new pics and video to gush over this week ;).

What Does Thirty Weeks Look Like?

I'm thinking things are going to start happening now.

Thirty weeks is a big milestone. We're 3/4 done with what is probably the easy part of being parents. I feel pretty good, although sometimes I wish I was about 6 inches taller in order to have a little more room for her to move around. I have to watch how much dinner I have, because we are discovering new and exciting definitions of what "Full" feels like. My blood sugar is running just a bit high--not gestational diabetes high, but higher than my doctor likes to see. So I'm checking glucose levels 4 times a day which is super fun...

So here's what babyfit.com has to say about 30 weeks:

Your Baby This Week Now that your baby weighs about 3 pounds (1.3 kg) and measures about 17 inches (43 cm) in length, you're beginning to feel like your tummy will pop if she keeps growing!

Your little cherub is starting to look more like a chubby little cherub, growing plumper and cuter every day. Her hair is growing thicker on the scalp, and those lashes are lengthening. The hands and feet are now fully formed and baby's head and body are closer to normal proportions. Overall, your baby is beginning to look similar to how she will look at birth--just tinier. To prepare for her big entrance, your baby is now starting to control her own body temperature!

Yeah, that's about right. She moves around a lot! I notice it more in the evenings, when I slow down a little and try to relax. I've read that my movement during the day lulls her to sleep, and when I stop moving that's what wakes her up. We're going to keep this in mind after she gets here. Rob gets a little alarmed at how much my belly seems to jump around. It is a little weird to see :). I was at a meeting last week, and the people sitting across the table from me were pretty entertained by it.

So here's what 30 weeks pregnant looks like from the outside...


In case you haven't seen me in a while and have forgotten what I look like, I'm not the bride. This was taken yesterday at my assistant's wedding. The weather was beautiful, if a little warm. We're relaxed and smiling because there were A/C vents in the floor, and people didn't have a problem if the bride and the pregnant lady staked claims over the biggest vent.

We're just about finished painting the nursery--we just need to touch up around the very top of the walls along the ceiling.. Please note the change of verbiage from "spare bedroom" to "nursery". Yeah, that's where we are. The dresser is set up, and will be filled with very tiny baby clothes (seriously, the newborn onesies are impossibly small) this week. I'm not going to fold them, because I've been told they need to be washed. They're currently in piles, sorted by size. I figured that was as good a system as any for the time being. I'm open to suggestions about stuff like that, though.

I have a quick OB check this week, and then my next perinatalogist appointment is the first week in November. We'll have more ultrasound pictures then.

It's Just Rob!

First, a bit of background...

You've all met Rob, a/k/a "Mr Hilarious". Years ago for Halloween, he dressed up as the androgynous character Pat from Saturday Night Live. In case you're not familiar...

The whole premise was that it never was revealed whether Pat was male or female. And it was impossible to guess. Pat's companion was named Kelly, and the sketches were full of clever red herrings. Pat's gender was never revealed.

That is, until now. Yeah, I know. Alarming. Disturbing. Shocking. And, to those who saw it in person, utterly hilarious. Jokes like this don't die in Rob's family. Oh, no; funny once, funny forever. So a few weeks back, before we knew that, unlike Pat, Speck was most assuredly a girl, Aunt Janice, Uncle Ken and Cousin Anna gave us a gift. Rather than tiptoe around the whole "we don't know if it's a boy or a girl" issue, they dove right in.


At that moment, I knew that the in-laws had truly accepted me and were welcoming our child into the hilarious fold that is the Family Berthelotte. Note the authentic wig and glasses. I was, and will forever be, truly touched by the gesture. Naturally, retaliation is both anticipated and expected. We'll get them back in true hilarious fashion.

I'm at the perinatalogist's first thing tomorrow morning, and I should have a slew of cool pictures to post tomorrow night. Check back later!

Half Baked!

Today, we are 20 weeks! According to babyfit.com...

Weighing in at about 9 ounces (.25 kg) and measuring over 6 inches (15 cm) long, your baby is aware of all kinds of sounds, from the beating of your heart and growling of your tummy, to songs on the radio and the buzzing of your alarm clock. If you feel a "bounce" in your tummy when you hear a loud noise, it's because your baby hears it, too! This is the start of your baby's active phase. You'll feel every twist, turn, and wiggle. You may also hear your baby's heartbeat through a stethoscope, and it's probably faster than you expect — 120 to 160 beats per minute.

That's pretty exciting. I can feel that there is *something* going on in there, but it's still pretty fleeting. I'll feel it but then it's gone. She's sneaky.

Last night, Rob looked at me and said "WHOA, you're showing!" I have been looking like I'm just swelling up all over, so this was good to hear. I look pregnant, and not just fluffy. I'll take a picture this week and I'll post it.

We're getting a lot of suggestions for names. Our niece in Virginia sent a rather extensive list of ideas. Alyssa, if you read this, you gave some good ideas. Bonus points for the excellent handwriting :). We're going to stand firm on the "No, we're not telling anyone what we're naming her" rule. You'll find out in January what the winner is.

In other news, we're making progress on the room.


Really, this is, indeed, progress. That desk is empty and by the end of this weekend it will be cleaned off on top. The bed is now up at the cabin in Utah. Note the stroller which is still in the box. Yeah, we'll get to it. I think I have an idea about what it will look like in there when it is no longer a spare bedroom and is instead a nursery. More on that when we get some paint happening.

Last weekend I went shopping. I waited until the whole boy/girl thing was determined, and I took some girlfriends and went to the mall and lost my freaking mind. Holy cow, shopping for baby girl clothes is so much fun! It's better than shopping for shoes! Everything is embroidered with little flowers and ruffles on the tush. This kid may grow up to be a tomboy, but for the first year or two, her wardrobe is going to be as girlie as I can make it. SUCH cute stuff.

That's about it. I see my OB in two weeks--probably just another measurement and heartbeat check, and then back to the perinatalogist in early September for more pictures.

Second Trimester! Hooray!

According to babyfit.com, when you hit 14 weeks you're officially in the second trimester. This is a significant milestone, as many (not all) of the early risks of Something Bad happening are not quite as likely. Speck is now between 3 and 4 inches long and weighing about an ounce. I ended up not having an ultrasound this past week, but I did get to hear the heartbeat.

Early blood tests came back--chromosomal issues (like Downs and some other particularly unpleasant conditions) have been ruled out. I go back to the perinatalogist in August for more tests to determine if there are any spinal issues. At least I think that's what will happen. Quite frankly, they have thrown a lot of information at us, most of it scary, and we just kind of nod our heads and look thoughtful until we can get home and figure out what exactly was said. Based on the good results we've had thus far, we've decided to be conservative as far as further testing goes, especially the more invasive stuff.

Florence's daughter who lives in Canada sent our first official baby gift.

It's super cute and is evidently all the rage as far as baby toys go. As I was trying it out (it's very soft and pleasing to the touch...) I found a squeaker, which immediately got the attention of the dog. I learned at once that baby toys and dog toys are quite similar, and we may have to come up with some sort of strategy for making sure that Gracie keeps her nose on her own toys. This reminded us of a moment right after Rob moved in when Gracie found an autographed baseball on a low shelf and immediately claimed it as her own. Hilarity ensued.

Rob has decided that he's going to pass his love of San Diego sports on to his child (fine with me--I've seen my share of baseball games and I'm willing to relinquish my position on the couch).



Really, how cute is that stuff? I'm all pherklempt about the booties.